5.20.24 Violets Shaking Eyes
sometimes when we think too much, it can become too much
Violet shakes On the regular Always pacing A better way Of doing things Around in her head She thinks & thinks again Then rethinks That thought Comes back around Again & then decides On how to act In any given situation Violet needs To look herself In the eye Before doing anything But that gets tricky Because Violet Hates her eyes & her nose & her hair & pretty much Everything else About herself She spends most of the time Afraid to make the Wrong decision That she usually Doesn’t even make one & she ironically hates that Even more Violet walks around Avoiding every crack In the sidewalk Every pothole In the street & every frown In a person Every frown Except her own She's grown accustomed To her own frown Smiling feels Too weird Especially because She hates the way Her smile looks Violet has been determined For quite some time now To avoid any conflict Including: Raised voices Swearing Sarcastic comments Harmless teasing Constructive criticism Irregular looks Passive aggression & the entirety of irony In order to avoid These things Violet usually just Doesn’t speak Unless spoken to & also Tries to forget She has thoughts That bother her & feelings at all Why would she Express herself If all it ever did Was attract attention? Nothing was worth That kind of attention Or any attention For that matter Not if its gunna Take away from literally anything else Would be more important Violet Tries not to Look herself in the eyes But realizes regularly That she should Because of all the thinking & second guessing She does She tries not To remember All the other choices She could’ve made That probably Would’ve been better Than the one she did & the one She about to do Because she only ever Catches her mistakes After she does them Violet Wonders about All the things She doesn’t know & would someday Like to explore But then she remembers All the reasons Someone else Should take her place & how she’d probably Just screw it all up Anyway Violet Questions again What she's doing But that only brings her To more questions To her shaking hands & how she’d really rather not Look into her own eyes again